On Longing

 The Body is the Primary Mode of Perceiving Scale

This line reminded me of my experiences in my travels abroad. I've been on many trips with my mom, but my first trip over seas was to Paris and London. In these cities, there are numerous monuments which tower over you, which I didn't see often in my home town of Miami. I was struck by awe at the sheer size of these monuments, especially the eiffel tower. In pictures on the internet, it always seemed so small. It wasn't until I put my own body next to it when I felt tiny, staring up at a towering work of architecture. I purposely took the photo from below to capture this effect.

Nostalgia Cannot be Sustained Without Loss

 This year, I had to suffer the sudden and tragic loss of my mother. It made a substantial blow towards not only my everyday life but my very self. It is true that one can't feel true nostalgia without having experienced loss. From losing her so suddenly, I've been overcome with nostalgia, relying only on photographs and the memories I shared with her. These photographs often bring me to tears, making me relive every moment almost in complete detail. However, it helps me to feel her presence. I have a wall in my dorm where I created a collage of some of my favorite pictures of her, and experiences I shared with her and my family. As I sit at my desk, I see her looking over me, providing me with that sense of security I've always received from her presence.

Capacity of Objects to Serve as Traces of Authentic Experience

My most recent trip to disney was a month before my Mom's passing. She took me and my sister to our favorite parks: Magic Kingdom and Epcot Center. Throughout the entire trip, upon entering the souvenir shops, I was always attracted the the plush of baby simba. My mom would laugh, saying that I've been wanting that lion for many years. So, even though I was 18 and received funny looks, my mom got me the baby simba. She jokingly teased me, saying that his eyes were merely "ironed on patches", but that made me laugh and smile. I absolutely love this little plush lion. Although it may seem ridiculous to most, for someone my age to be carrying a toy meant for small children, I feel that same emotional connection to it even now. Especially after my Mom's passing, I feel that connection more than ever, remembering her smile and her laugh as she watched me cradle it in my arms.

The Souvenir Reduces the Public, the Monumental, and the 3 Dimensional Into the Miniature, That Which Can Be Enveloped by the Body

The first time I ever went to the circus was a little under a year ago. My sister had gone before and was overly ecstatic about it. From the last time she went, she had a souvenir hat which she had worn all the time at home. She took this hat with her to the circus only to receive a new one while we were there. She was so proud of her bounty that she wore both upon her head, begging me to take a picture of it. The hats made her look shorter than she actually is, enveloping half of her body.

To Have a Souvenir of the Exotic is to Possess Both a Specimen and a Trophy

When I was little, I had two things I loved more than almost anything else: my dog, and the teletubbies. I would wake up at 5 am every morning just to catch the airing of the show. So, evidently, I had a bountiful collection of teletubbie toys which I carried around with pride. I was always so excited to show people my collection, including my dog. In this photograph, I had barricaded my dog behind a wall of teletubbies as I watched Dora (which I hysterically resemble in this photo). This photograph seems outlandish and maybe even confusing to most viewers, but my 3 or 4 year old self smiles with pride at her work. This photo serves as a trophy of sorts.